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Now I'm too fucked up to dance, so I'mma sit with my hand down the front of my pants... [Jun. 28th, 2004|01:56 pm]
[mood |drunkSeeeeeedy]
[music |Tryin' To Find A Balance - Atmosphere]

Went to see Nyree's new place, which was very cool. Went down to the Antique Bar for 'a' drink, cos someone she knows is going overseas today. That was fine. Then some people she knew were at the Elsternwick hotel, so off we went 200m down the road. Then it gets a bit sloppy. Many pints passed, my intentions of driving home were destroyed. At about midnight we realised we were the last people in the place, and decided to make a move. Passing by the Antique bar on the way back, Nyree says 'Ooh its still open, lets have a drink' Haha, nice one. A few more beers later we're in a deep philosophical discussion involving starsigns, money, social ineptitude and Ben Kweller. After sneaking our beers out of the bar we staggered the 2 minutes up the road to her house and continued to talk about politics and traveling for another 4 hours. I got home at about 11 this morning, all in all the best 24 hours I can remember.

But I forgot to drink some water before finally passing out, so I've got a mother of a headache this morning.

Hooray for being seedy!
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Sometimes you hear the bullet... [Jun. 27th, 2004|03:45 am]
[mood |annoyedannoyed]
[music |Everything In Its Right Place - Radiohead]

Owing to the less than fantastic week in Rob-Female relations, I thought this tribute to the Spectacular Shitness that is my love life was in order.

Here, in no particular order, are the top 10 songs (complete with lyrics) that epitomise the state of my closest personal relationships with the opposite sex (1995-2004)


Comment if necessary.

1) Little Birdy - I Should Have KnownCollapse )
2) N.E.R.D. - MaybeCollapse )
3) Atmosphere - Fuck You LucyCollapse )
4) Phoenix - If I ever Feel BetterCollapse )
5) Saves The Day - Anywhere With YouCollapse )
6) Rammstein - Du Hast (You Have)Collapse )
7) Maroon 5 - Through With YouCollapse )
8) Rollins Band - You Didn't NeedCollapse )
9) Tex Perkins - Two WrongsCollapse )
10) The Used - Buried Myself AliveCollapse )
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And these are the words that disturb your earth when I walk away with your hope. [Jun. 25th, 2004|04:22 am]
[mood |thoughtfulthoughtful]
[music |A Girl Named Hope - Atmosphere]

I love my brain. I wish there was some easy way to compare your brain to everyone else’s. I don’t think mine works in quite the same way as a ‘normal’ brain. At least not from what I can tell of the rest of the world. Sometimes I can get so caught up in thought that it becomes like a lucid dream. Often I get a strange sense that I’m elevated above the normal bounds of thought and existence. In those times everything seems insignificant, and I’m filled with a feeling I can only describe as Power. Its almost as if I Know the world is mine for the taking, and that no-one could possibly stand in my way should I decide to make it mine. It’s not a particularly religious or spiritual experience... it was established long ago that there is no room for me within any spiritual hierarchy, unless it’s in the top job. I couldn’t live with bowing to any God, but if people want to revere me as a god, I’m open to that. The offers, however, have not been flowing in as you’d expect.

I don’t want to conquer the world totally; I just want to control most of it. And by control, I don’t mean harsh militaristic rule where anyone who steps out of line is punished. No. What I want is a vast business empire that spans the globe, one that deals with everything; natural resources, technology, industry, medicine, education, real-estate, communications, transport and everything in between. A company that’s so big, and so deeply rooted in the economy of almost every nation in the world that to do without it would be almost unthinkable.
It sounds oppressive and evil, but something like this could be an amazing step forward for the human race as a whole. Standards of living would increase, and not just in the western world, but globally. Conflict would be a rare occurrence: the threat of having your entire economy pulled out from under you is sure to make anyone think about giving peace a chance. Science would make leaps and bounds…there’d be almost endless funding for the worlds best and brightest scientists, and use of the most advanced facilities.
A company like this, so deeply embedded into the economy, with millions of employees worldwide and even more customers would also have an enormous social responsibility. In fact in time, I think it would start to assume the role of a Government; a government that would be more concerned with looking after its citizens interests than any other government in history. Why? because whereas modern governments take their income from the population by force (i.e. taxes), this type of government will only succeed if its subjects are happy with its performance. If it’s not doing as they wish, they simply stop buying from it, and the companies’ income drops. Of course there may be many situations where the company has a monopoly on a given thing, and there naturally may be the temptation to exploit that. But it wouldn’t be in their best interests. If history has taught us anything, it’s that humans will not be oppressed. Sure, they’ll put up with it for a while, but there’s always a breaking point, and when it’s reached, it isn’t pretty. Take the current situation in the Middle East. OPEC has been screwing the world on oil prices for decades. The US has finally reached their breaking point, and they’re going to get what they want, no matter what it takes. It’s the human way.

Of course this all sounds very strange, perhaps a little nutty, but I’d rather be accused of being insane than pretend I didn’t have these sorts of ideas. Besides, by psychological standards I’m probably not insane, just a megalomaniac.

Don’t take this as a concise and detailed plan. It’s just a lot of ideas off the top of my head. There are probably flaws and contradictions galore, but you get the general idea, right?
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Quality time...ohh yeah. [Jun. 24th, 2004|05:25 pm]
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |Roses - Outkast]

I'm going down to....la la land...Collapse )
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Maybe... there was something wrong... and you weren't telling me... [Jun. 23rd, 2004|12:54 am]
[mood |tiredtired]
[music |Big Onion - Detroit Grand Pubahs]

Ahhh, so what am I going to blow out of proportion tonight boys and girls? I've been awake for 40 hours so far, working for about 30 of those hours, so god help us all.

Well, I've got europe in my head at the moment, and more specifically, why the hell did I ever get on the plane back here? I know the answer at the time was 'Kelly' but I wish it hadn't been. Of the few things I can really say I regret, coming back here tops the list. I had a bit of money to set myself up. I had a half decent job offer in London. I had a girlfriend (actually fiancee) who I knew wasn't 100% faithful to me, and was heading off on a Contiki tour of Ireland instead of coming home with me. All I was really going back to was a uni course I wasn't interested in. I really cant say why I made the decision I did.

'Look on the bright side', you might be thinking. Well the bright side is, 4 years after returning I have very little to show for myself but 2 years wasted with another relationship (another poor decision in hindsight, but that story warrants its own entry) And a business thats yet to make me any real monet to speak of. I must say I hold high hopes for the business though.

But of course, I should be glad for the 'Life Experience'. I think thats just a nice way of saying 'Regrets'.

Saying I have high hopes for the business is a bit of an understatement I guess... I actually have the utmost confidence that it'll be a success. So there's something...but its not causing me to smile just yet.

Thats better. Nothing like a nice venting to calm you down. I need to get out and do something this weekend. I have the ominous feeling that no one will want to do anything now that I do. I dont care. I'll go to a movie on my own if I have to... just you watch me.

Heh. time for sleep before this gets silly.
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Hello, My name is Josh, and I'd like to talk to you about reincarnation... [Jun. 22nd, 2004|06:41 am]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[music |The Horror - RJD2]

I am loathe to admit it, but today, instant coffee is my friend.

I'm convinced that the world of magazine publishing exists in some bizzare alternate time stream. I have a friend who is a graphic designer for fairfax, working on their magazines. She's always getting mixed up about what month she's in, and I finally understand exactly why. I spent the last few hours putting together an advert for the AUGUST 2004 issue of a magazine that goes on sale on the 7th of JULY, the deadline for submission of copy being today, the 22nd of JUNE. The whole process is so disorganised its almost as if its run by a government department.

At the risk of being called a film snob, I'm thinking of becoming a member of a film society. Apparently they show a few each week: "Cinematheque offers a diverse program of classic, cult, animation, experimental, documentary, silent and short films" Sounds good to me.

I want to start learning a language again. Brush up on my Italian. I'm sure I'll remember most of it, I just need to be reminded, and it'll come back. I'd really like to take up new languages though. French and German to be specific. I've started a 'do it yourself' French course, but I'd prefer to be learning in a group environment, so I'll have to look up somewhere that does out of hours courses. Speaking in other languages rocks.

Watched an Egyptian movie tonight... it was supposed to be a comedy, but it just left me confused. Must be a cultural thing, because I didn't catch much comedy. It was like a Bollywood movie, except not good. I must admit I was also working and therefore wasn't paying my full attention, but honestly, this thing made the actors on 'The Storm Rages Twice' look talented.

I cant seem to listen to enough RJD2 lately. Couple of weeks ago it was Aesop. Before that it was Murs. I think Def Jux is somehow controlling my brain waves. *puts on al-foil hat* Well its not a bad thing I guess... I mean what am I gonna do, go sobbing to a therapist? 'oh my god, I'm addicted to good music' I'll visit a therapist when I have some commercial pop music shit stuck in my head.

You know, someone needs to find a cure for pop music. I do think its a disease. Forget cancer, forget obesity, the real disease of the modern world is Pop Music. It robs its victims of creativity, individuality and systematically destroys their ability to appreciate a wider range of music by inventing a myriad of genres and sub-genres so the victim may say that they in fact appreciate a very wide range of music, evident in the sheer number of different 'types' of music their friendly commercial radio DJ has to offer them. Find me a song in the Top 40 that runs longer than 3 minutes and isn't at least 80% 'catchy' (read: repetitive) hook.

The standard argument is 'there's a market for it' And I suppose thats true. Its well known that people will buy anything thats presented to them in an appealing way. So why not present good music to them? Perhaps because its not as easy to listen to. It may require interaction on a more intellectual level, and my personal experience is that people will avoid this where possible. So maybe the real problem is pop music as such, but peoples tendency toward laziness. Why do so many people shy away from something that challenges the status quo? Why is something thats confronting looked upon as a negative thing to so many people? I know its not human nature, or humans would still be competing for land with the Neanderthals. No, we're much better than that.

Is it that people are sub-consciously aware that their lives are lacking, and cant bear to face up to the fact? Living in denial, convincing themselves that they're so content with whats presented to them that they don't need to look for anything more. Of course... if they allowed themselves to become aware of just how empty their lives were it'd make their lives up to that point, for the most part, a total waste. And nobody wants to look back on their life and realise they've wasted it. I guess being happy with a lie is better than being miserable with the truth for most.

Hmm. I think I got a bit off track there... I started out ranting about pop music, and ended up taking an overly critical look at humanity as a whole. Nothing like getting carried away, huh?

Well, at least I got it off my chest.
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"And here's a story about being free..." [Jun. 21st, 2004|05:54 am]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[music |You Can't Go Home Again - DJ Shadow]

I've just realised that this journal is going to shit. It's been months since I've written anything even halfway meaningful. Its just full of surveys, quizzes and other nonsensical shit. Go me.

Ok, no more crap for at least 20 entries... that way,rather than dozens of stupid quizilla pictures, the first thing people will see is big blocks of text, and perhaps they wont think I'm such a fucktard. Perhaps.

Well, I've just finished another lovely day od work. Up at 11.30, visited my niece for her 1st birthday, had lunch/breakfast, then start work at 2pm. Finished working on stuff at 5.15 am. I guess it wasn't solid work, because although I'm either sitting here typing or scribbling notes and whatnot, I'm half paying attention to the TV when it's on (Watched Barry Lyndon on SBS tonight... excellent movie, but then I expect no less from Kubrick) I mastered the art of touch-typing while not looking at the keyboard... looking over my shoulder at the tv. I also heard the Grand Prix tonight, but I was too engrossed in my work to actually turn my head, and although I taped it, I have no idea where I'm going to find 2 and a half hours to give it the attention it deserves.

I don't mind the work, but it starts to suck when you count up the ridiculous amount of hours you spend each week, and then realise you're not getting paid by the hour. I don't even want to mention my social life. No, fuck it I do. It sucks. Everything seems to require either too much time, or too much money at the moment. And when I do find something to do, people bail on me. And while I'm on things that suck, my car is shitting me. It still works, against all odds (the odds being it's 32 years old, and I drive it) but its just crappy after I've been driving my dads car around. Whereas a honda civic might present a challenge for my car, everytime I wiggle my toe while driving my dads car I gain 20km/h and nearly break my neck. Powerful cars are such fun. *sigh*

I cant help but get the feeling I'm missing something here. Some mysterious 'piece in the puzzle' that will change everything. Something that will seem so simple and obvious once I've figured it out, but for now is proving impossibly elusive. I've had this feeling for the best part of 24 years, but its rather more urgent these last couple of months. I wish I knew what was causing it. I often look around at the life I'm in, and my first reaction is "I was meant for better than this". Whatever that means.

Hmm. I'm gonna sleep for about 3 hours. Then I'll do something amazingly different... I'll do some work.

If my life is a joke, its not funny anymore.
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Sounds like one kick-arse movie to me... [Jun. 20th, 2004|07:07 pm]
[mood |boredbored]
[music |Royal In The Afternoon - The Whitlams]

Soundtrack to my Life
Opening Credits:
Ghostwriter - RJD2
Waking Up:
Looper - Mondo '77
In Love Scene:
Venus - Air
Sex Scene:
The Sound Of Violence - Cassius
Angry Fight Scene:
Du Hast - Rammstein
Breaking Up:
A Song For The Lovers - Richard Ashcroft
Missing Scene:
Future - Cut Copy
Getting Back Together:
Kissing The Day - Portishead
Crying Scene:
Protection - Massive Attack
Fun Scene:
Who Said - Planet Funk
Love Is Gonna Save Us - Benni Benassi
Hangover Scene:
If I Ever Feel Better - Phoenix
The Golden Path - Chemical Brothers
Party Scene:
Fit But You Know It - The Streets
Fuck You Scene:
Fear of Pop - William Shatner & Ben Folds
Long Night Alone:
You Cant Go Home Again - DJ Shadow
Closing Credits:
Killing Moon - Echo and the Bunnymen
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If I were a robot, I'd be broken... [Jun. 18th, 2004|04:50 pm]
[mood |restlessrestless]
[music |I am The Knife - Electric Six]

more quizzesCollapse )
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Rah rah rah. [Jun. 16th, 2004|09:23 pm]
[mood |mischievousmischievous]
[music |Law and Order.]

Another one...Collapse )
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